So, you think got him all figured out, huh? After months of dining outs and movie dates, you guys are all cozy on the couch, beer at hand and watching the latest chick flick or beating each other in Xbox. Everything’s going smoothly and this might just be the real deal. But that are still some things he’s not telling you. It might be because he’s not as deep as you are in the relationship or it might just be his ego kicking him, preventing him to express himself fully. Whatever it is, here’s a heads up so you’ll know how to deal with it when you think the time has come.
“Your family really scares me.”
Either the constant contact, the gruff father, the nagging mother, the crazy sister, or the bearded big brother, there will always be some aspect of your family that scares the seat out of him. It’s normal. He wants to please them, and he’s scared to disappoint them. He’s scared that they might disapprove of him and that their disapproval might influence the way you think about him. His self-esteem just needs a little bit of nudging that’s all. If you like him, he must be likable so show him what you like about him, highlight them and make him work on the rough edges.
“I’m not sure how good I am at that sex thing you seem to enjoy.”
Admit it. Once in a while, you faked an orgasm. Whatever “that thing” may be, however much you’ve encouraged or praised it, he’s still not sure if he’s a pro at it and feels a little self-conscious each time. The female body is an elaborate and wondrous thing so don’t get tired of convincing him that he’s doing something right and making him feel proud of himself for pleasuring you.
“I’m not 100% where I want to be professional.”
Frankly, no one is. But he’s scared to admit it. Wherever he is on his career ladder, he must still want to do better, climb higher and become more successful. Actually, this is good. A man who constantly pushes his boundaries challenges himself and consistently aims for achievement is better than someone who is satisfied in mediocrity. Show him how supportive you are, that you’ll be there for him all throughout the way, and soon, he’ll be confident to talk to you about his career aspirations.
“I have a body complex as well.”
It’s true. He sucks in his gut every time he takes off his shirt and hopes you don’t notice. He might never admit this to you, but really, you make him self-conscious all the time because he likes you a lot. If he shows you he loves your stretch marks and dark underarms, it’s high time you show him you like him back, beer belly and all.
“I have occasional doubts about us.”
No one in a relationship is 100% sure all of the time. Mostly he’s head over heels for you, but once in a blue moon, he does a double take while contemplating your future. There’s no easy way to make him talk about it without sounding clingy and demanding but hey, if he proposes, that means he must have done a tad bit of contemplation about your future together. He doesn’t be patient. Sooner or later, he’ll have time to think about it, and there’s no use in pressuring him. Just enjoy the moment.
“Playing with my friend’s kid completely triggers my paternal instinct.”
He doesn’t want to freak you out, and he’s not necessarily ready for kids—but damn is that baby cute. Observe how he is with kids and babies. How is his relationship with his sibling’s children? Or his younger siblings, if he has any? Based on experience, a guy who has an awesome relationship with his younger family members makes an awesome dad. Remember that he is potentially your life partner so if you see him gushing over his friend’s kid, his definitely a good candidate to father your spawn.
“I love you first”
He’s scared to admit he’s been crushing on you since you guys shared that elevator ride when you were rushing to work because frankly, you don’t even remember that elevator ride. You found nothing special about it, and it’s funny how you overlooked how handsome he is all those time. Unless you get him drunk, he’s scared off his wits to tell you he loves you, but just because he won’t say it doesn’t mean he’s not feeling it. Wait for the right moment then be the man and blurt it out yourself.